that’s their nature

sgt. stubby was a remarkable pit-bull. one of the many remarkable pit-bull terriers. an actual sergeant who was covered in medals, he has saved lives & helped countless others.

“When the Yankee Division headed for the front lines in France, Stubby was given special orders allowing him to accompany the Division to the front lines as their official mascot. The 102nd Infantry reached the front lines on the 5 February 1918. Stubby soon became accustomed to the loud rifles and heavy artillery fire. His first battle injury occurred from gas exposure; he was taken to a nearby field hospital and nursed back to health. The injury left him sensitive to the tiniest trace of gas. When the Division was attacked in an early morning gas launch, most of the troops were asleep. Stubby recognized the gas and ran through the trench barking and biting at the soldiers, rousing them to sound the gas alarm, saving many from injury.
Stubby also had a talent for locating wounded men between the trenches of the opposing armies; he would listen for the sound of English and then go to the location, barking until paramedics arrived or leading the lost soldiers back to the safety of the trenches. He even caught a German soldier mapping out the layout of the Allied trenches. The soldier called to Stubby, but he put his ears back and began to bark. As the German ran, Stubby bit him on the legs, causing the soldier to trip and fall. He continued to attack the man until the American soldiers arrived. For capturing an enemy spy, Stubby was put in for a promotion to the rank of Sergeant by the commander of the 102nd Infantry. He became the first dog to be given rank in the United States Armed Forces.”-wiki

the pit-bull, because of the dramatic world media, is a misunderstood animal. today it was thailand-a ruined reputation from the bangkok post in which it starts here-

“A series of dog attacks, some fatal, by pit bulls on people have raised questions about the safety of keeping these so-called ferocious canines as pets. With their massive skulls and strong jaws, pit bulls make many people feel unsafe when they encounter this creature in public places, such as parks or walkways.
One woman told Life she feels that her safety is compromised whenever she sees this type of dog at the park _ and not even the presence of its owner holding onto a strong leash helps.
“I was so scared [when I saw the pit bull] I walked in another direction as fast as I could ,” she said.
“Pit bulls are too powerful for the average person to handle. And if the dog is let loose and jumps on anyone, I’m sure you can guess what happens,” she said.
“More importantly, we don’t know if the dog is well trained or not. I would feel a lot safer if the dog was muzzled.”
The pit bull horror stories have resulted in some owners abandoning their pets, giving them up at dog shelters.
Should we be scared of pit bulls?”

and ends, thankfully, here-

”It’s the irresponsible owners who cause public hatred for this dog breed. They have no respect for how their actions affect the rest of society, particularly the true pit bull lovers. You know, our neighbours give us a cold look whenever they see us because they think our dogs hinder the neighbourhood’s quality of life.”

it has been a really weird trip having a pit-bull pup. uma is 11 weeks now. after 3 short weeks i’m getting used to the discipline required to properly raise a puppy. any kind of puppy. i’m lucky she is so young because it’s wise to get her trained as early as possible before bad habits develop. it’s much harder to change a habit in a dog once it is established.

uma, to me, is the same as any other breed. i don’t see her breed. i see uma.

fortunately & unfortunately, that’s what most other people see. depending on who it is, the reaction varies. i’ve been reading up on training & a source told me to socialize her with 100 people/animals before she is 12 weeks. so she gets used to all kinds touching her so she will never freak out. never bite. it’s going well. it’s fun, because doris & i are getting more exercise, & meeting more people & dogs. in my surrounding hood pit-bulls don’t seem to be feared all that much. a lot of people respect her. she is a status symbol in some cultures. children, homeless, elderly, crossing guards, housewives, can collectors, garbage men, & teenagers all seem to love her. so much i was told to be extra cautious when allowing someone to kneel down & pet her. she is a target for theft. they just unsnap her leash & run with her. i was stunned to hear that. unfortunately pits are used & abused. the actions of a few are being paid for by tens of thousands of beautiful pit-bulls.

it’s free to get her spayed at the anti-cruelty society because of her breed. i’ve had countless arguments in online social networks. i have a friend who comes over a couple of times a week who is breed-phobic, convinced she will one day snap, bite my face or neck, & leave me for dead because that’s their nature.

like everything else, pit-bulls are known only for their potential aggressive behavior. the media sure loves to exaggerate this. pit-bulls are illegal in some states. a man who had a disability & used a help pit moved to iowa-a state that banned pits. they confiscated his dog.

cesar milan has a good article-how did pit bulls get a bad rap? about this. he also has an awesome gallery of famous pit-bulls. remember these?

petey! nipper!


and of course….Sergeant Stubby!!!

blessed setbacks

8 months after my car crash i’m finally back to a full practice. i have become my teacher. as i perform each asana, it resonates profoundly. i hear my own words in my head-the ones i have had to use since i could not demonstrate much for so long. and i think verbal instruction is valuable. sometimes more valuable than physical adjustments. you can correct 5 people at once with your voice. and a lot of people do NOT want to be touched. i respect that.

after i finish a practice, i teach a class or more & find that i am teaching with more passion than ever. it’s like i found an old friend who i NEED very badly in my life. my body is delightfully sore. my stress level is low & i am far more controlled & happy. i played the SHIT out of my drums yesterday at a rehearsal because of yoga! “you played excellent!,” said the colonel. i had to agree. my recent teacher is my car crash.

and i actually feel blessed. blessed that i broke 3 ribs & have had a LONG journey healing. i do not take anything for granted anymore. i can really feel that a simple standing posture like trikonasana is super hard-core. it’s a miracle posture when done with total submission. this week a student asked me if i am less advanced now because of the crash. i had to laugh & say “of course!” and i couldn’t care less. i actually have no interest in ever advancing beyond where i used to be-just the beginning of 3rd. i am SO happy to do janu sirsasana. and i’m looking forward to eventually adding intermediate postures back. it feels SO good to backbend. i feel like i have a new body! but more importantly, i have a new mind. i obviously have matured in my yoga because if this happened to me years ago, i would have been devastated. now it means a new fun challenge. i am more than ready to take on the world. how refreshing :-)

have you ever had a set back in your practice? how did it make you feel?

yoga butcher

beginning this saturday i will be teaching at a cool new venue called fulton fit house. the young passionate owners have a beautiful space in one of the hippest hoods in chicago. it’s located next to a new butcher shop. how very ying/yang.. restaurant row, greektown, & the fishmarket are all part of this industrial area. this is an interesting situation. the owner is a personal trainer, has a climbing wall & a few floors of space-one is a yoga studio which they want me to run. when he trains his clients, he forces them to take a yoga class each week. i think that’s pretty cool. i’m wanting this to turn into another mysore program, since i miss teaching that style & i am inspired to help new people incorporate yoga into their lives. many of the clients work in the food industry (which is why noon is a smart time for those late night workers).

their philosophy is similar to mine

“We want people to rediscover health & fitness and continue it for the rest of their lives. The fit family wants you healthier, happier, and being the best version of yourself. Our workouts are all about variety. Your body is a wonderful machine and it will adapt very quickly. Incorporating fun workouts that are safe, unique and ever changing is what keeps you engaged and gets you in great shape!”

“Let’s leave this world in better shape than we found it!”

i hope some of you can join me! it’s a happy place :-)

******************************
fulton fit house
821 w. fulton market street (1 block west of halsted right near publican restaurant)
noon-1 every saturday
$10
312-243-1083

yoga it away

i got this marble platter in agra when i went to visit the taj mahal. the gem inlay was made by one of the relatives that built the taj. apparently he stole the gems from the taj & handed them down. the plate was signed by the artist in 1972.

this is the delightful mess i woke up to today. my cats have not been happy since uma moved in. they are very dramatic, of course, like most cats. and crafty buggers. it’s totally possible they broke this plate to fuck with me. i feel like opening the front door & hoisting them out to fend for themselves in the cold cold chicago winter. their sister met that fate although she chose to leave & live outside for her short life. these other girls are total fraidy-cats.

as cute as they are, i really feel like killing them. of course they have the new pup to blame, who is equally as cute. she was said to be napping in the colonel’s arms when the tragedy occurred. i’m pretty sure they will stick to their story but i really know the truth.

i’m starting to wonder, because uma has incredibly powerful jaws at just 9 weeks. she is strong enough to kill me, the cats, and the colonel.

but first, she must finish off the competition. i watched her go for the jugular several dozen times today. doris is 11.

i’m very sad about my marble piece. i’m not a very materialistic person but i was attached to that plate & paid plenty for it. it had sentimental value. are animals worth more? will they kill one another when they are old enough to? what do i do?

i can attend a class with uma. i can keep reading cesar milan’s site. i can get on the mat & yoga it away. i can sit in lotus like today for an hour doing pranayama with a puppy snoring & farting on my lap.

i guess i just need to let it go. but not too far. asserting control over cute fluffy animals is not an easy feat. but if i don’t learn to do it, there will be nothing left. yesterday uma paw-picked a vinyl album out of the thousands in our library & carried it across the room.

the colonel was less than pleased.

life is back & getting better

this has been quite an interesting week. if you are open to unplanned possibilities, anything can happen.

like suddenly i’m the proud owner of an adorable 2 month old pitbull pup who i’ve named UMA!!! uma means “horse” in japanese. it is often yelled out loud in sushi restaurants in tokyo. they eat it raw & the colonel partook. the japanese people were very impressed, since that is unthinkable here in the good ol’ U S of A. face it people. every single animal on the planet is being eaten as i write.

anyhoo…she got the name after we were scrambling for a good band name since we are a month or so away from being ready to do a gig. but when i saw the pup, the name had to be hers first. she looks just like uma thurman.

she is quite a challenge. & i can never tie her up outside if i go into a shop because apparently she is a target for pitbull thieves in this area which is heavily latino. she’s a status symbol-respected & often feared. i have wanted a pit for a while because people are afraid to raise them. the reputation. thanks mike tyson. so many are not adopted. i wanted to give uma a chance she might not have ever gotten. the previous owner’s kids painted her nails hot pink. that’s not a good sign.

*****************************************************

on the same day i got a call to help out a brand new personal training studio in the fulton market area-that’s where chicago has sold it’s fish forever. it’s a delightful funky hood with many important hip restaurants nearby. i was recommended by another teacher for the job of running the yoga studio. so i taught a class, gave the resume, talked about the future with the passionate owners & after some financial haggling, they wrote me a check. the trainers require their clients to take yoga classes. i even get to choose the color of the studio. this is very exciting, since the prospect of opening my own studio was never going to happen because i do not have any money. we all have much in common. the owner is also an early riser, very disciplined & passionate, & an all-season bike rider.

he put a blue flowery helmet on my head as i exited. now i wear a bike helmet.

i’m really happy & the steroids are doing their job. i can bike every day, do pilates & yoga without much pain.

i finally have my life back & it’s getting better.

REAL yoga. THE man in 1938. enjoy :-)

HIP HOP MUSIC AND POWER YOGA FLOW

i went to get another round of injections yesterday, which i wasn’t looking forward to. the big side effect is the inability to sleep through an entire night. i told the doc that they were a bit too strong for my delicate disposition.

“can we wait & see?”

so he gave me some low dose sleeping aids-just a few. because if you can’t sleep, the pain is more intense.

“can i bike? do yoga? do pilates? demonstrate in classes? vacuum? shovel walks? scratch my brand new car up with a scraper?”

yes. he said not to “baby” the area anymore-even though i can feel the shoulder & upper rib separating, even making a crunching noise when i raise my arm. so that’s what i’m doing. weird thing, though is that i really have lost my appetite for the past 4 days & have eaten practically nothing. all food suddenly started to feel disgusting in my mouth-soup, salads, smoothies, tea, everything. i have NO idea what that is. however…it would be great to lose some of my girth. most of my weight is stored in my center & reducing it could dramatically help the healing process. the doctor did not say i needed to do this but i did not ask either. i guess we shall have to see. i’m not great at the dramatic feat of losing my beloved muffin top.

**********************************************************

on the teaching end, things seem a little weird & dismal. i have a couple of handfuls of really devoted students who are delightful. yesterday’s class was 80% male, which for some reason is really fun to me. i still hold that fantasy of teaching a sports team one day. footbal, hockey, baseball…..whatever! what is dismal? the fact that students more & more are gravitating towards non-traditional yoga because of all of the weird new classes that are starting to surface. these are created out of boredom & with financial gain in mind. i got the line-up of the midwest yoga conference this year. a dozen years ago you could take classes with richard freeman, rod stryker, david life, eric shiffman & other real teachers.

look at it now.

-HAPPY YOGA
-YOGAFLOW/VINYASA BASICS
-ROOT TO RISE
-GANESHA FLOW | DEVOTION IN MOTION
-FLOWPLAY

and the best one of all……..

HIP HOP MUSIC AND POWER YOGA FLOW
Join Moses for this incredible yoga experience. Let go into this Creative flow, Thoughtful Assists, Hot Sweat, Dance, Chanting,Sweet Savasana and Guided Meditation Super Spicy!!

with……MOSES!!!!! look at him!

and i realize that my career as a traditional astanga yoga teacher might be becoming extinct very soon. my class sizes are small & dropping. i appeal to males or women with male attributes only. and i wonder…because i take an awesome morrocan woman’s pilates classes….if it’s time to learn the other shit that they teach in health clubs.

i guess i can picture myself teaching step, spin, butts ‘n guts, chisel, acro yoga, zumba, cirque de’solel, pogo plus, pilates & even

HIP HOP MUSIC AND POWER YOGA FLOW !!!!!!

shit. then i realize i’m already 46 & i’m pretty sure i’m gonna soon resemble an old troll.

my career is ending. and i ponder slinging hash once again at a local breakfast diner. it’s a more fitting place for an old x-yoga teacher troll.

i feel good

the 2 days after receiving my injections, i was in pain. a day later i was SO hyper i couldn’t even chase the words that were coming out of my mouth. i haven’t had a full night sleep for a week. i’m very sensitive to these steroids. a few days later, i am “up” but not as much.

there IS a positive side to this curious drug.
right before the young artistic anesthesiologist shoved 3 long needles between my ribs, he asked me a curious question-

“what do you want from me?”

all i could say in a desperate tone was-

“i want you to take away the pain.”

i felt him swoon. because he knew.

i came to realize that it was his mission. we were on the same path. why is this SO profound to me? because having daily pain for almost 7 months, one forgets what it feels like NOT to be in pain. you can really get used to anything. so after i started noticing that the pain was gone, it felt luxurious. like “wow! i can teach, walk, bike fast for miles, do some yoga, be happy, lift things, shovel the sidewalk & dig the car out…

i was actually over zealous on that last one & ended up scratching up our new car. i’m a total dipshit & did not realize scraping ice off the body would hurt the paint job. i was actually thrilled with this “job.” it was a workout, it was an action that i had not been able to perform since july. i couldn’t wait to surprise the sleeping colonel.

until he took me to the train & noticed i had hacked up the entire body. shit. i felt terrible. i still do. those steroids are STRONG. trust me.

i had forgotten what it felt like to be pain-free. i don’t think i will ever take this feeling for granted again. the biggest thrill is my fresh attitude. pain-free, i have noticed there is a HUGE change in the way i see the world & my tolerance level for annoying shit. in pain, i viewed the world & everyone in it in a sad, annoyed, hostile way. i also hated myself & could not even look at myself in the mirror.

NOTHING bothers me now. a little boy ran over me with a grocery cart yesterday & felt sorry for him because his dad was a drill sergeant. he picked him up by the armpit, planted him in front of my face & said-

“YOU LOOK AT HER IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW & TELL THE LADY THAT YOU ARE SORRY”

he was probably about 8, totally terrorized & innocent.
his dad is a douche.

kids don’t bother me. neither do crowds. rude people. mean people. assholes. it’s all good because for the first time in ages

i feel good.

and i can look in the mirror again & actually like what i see.

what a concept.

fun with steroids

when i arrived at the anesthesiologist, he knew nothing about me. the doctors all lied to me about discussing my issue together. so after a long explanation of what happened to me, an epidural, which the doctors urged me to get, was completely out of the question. instead, i received 3 injections of steroids into the intercostal muscles between the 3 broke ribs. this is REALLY freakin’ weird. they put me face down & the doc brought in a live x-ray doctor so he can see exactly where those long needles were going throughout my back. he put yellow dye all over me & covered me with a tarp. then he began. he started with rib #9 & worked up to #7, which was by far the hardest to take. first he gave a shot to numb the area. then he inserted the long needle & injected a steady flow of cold steroid liquid, which i could feel travelling throughout my muscles. this procedure was repeated 2 more times & the entire thing will be done again in a couple of weeks.

joy.

the up side of this? it numbs the nerves that are causing my chronic pain. the down side? where the hell do i start?

first of all, it was almost debilitating for the first couple days. i had to swim with sharks to get my doc to give me some pain meds to get through this. but what i really needed, as of yesterday, were some “chill pills.” the steroids take a couple of days to begin their “magic.” and yesterday i felt like i had been shot out of a cannon. have you ever drank too much coffee? done meth, speed or coke? then you know what this feels like. it was hard to teach my class. my words seemed to be coming out of someone elses mouth. i was a total spaz. when i rode downtown, it was the fastest i have ever clocked in. i guess i understand why athletes love steroids now. they turn you into a superhuman.

i don’t want to be a superhuman. i want to sleep. which i did not do at all last night. i hope this passes. i prefer being chill rather than hyper. it’s NOT for me. but it IS nice having this pain dissipate.

***************************************************

on another note, i was very happy to read lineage yoga’s blog post about teaching yoga. i strongly resonate with her words as a teacher. this made my week more tolerable. i see myself in these words & i know i’m doing the right thing.

on teaching yoga-

“never talk to the audience, talk to your own mind and make it a louder reflection in yourself to yourself. Thereby you will not only stop the growth of the ego but also will be talking to the mind and heart of your audience. May your missionary lectures and inspired teachings be a homely talk and fruitful discussion between your own higher intellect and lower mind. If those who are around you benefit by your own self-reflection it shall be the glory of the Lord and not your personal efficiency”.

SO beautiful. thank you.

eat,shit,die.

because i had spent time in india & bali, a ton of people urged me to PLEASE read “eat, pray, love.” i refused & read shantaram instead. the colonel actually met the author gregory david roberts in the same mumbai bar shortly before the bombings. that film was supposed to star johnny depp but seems to still be in the can over a dozen years later.

eat, pray, love however, was quickly made into a commercially successful film with top-notch actors. julia roberts {{ugghhh}}, james franco {{???}}& javier bardim. (wtf)

the movie came on yesterday without commercials. it was right there in front of me. i really wanted to know what people saw in me in the lead character. and after watching this piece of shit, i came to realize that

the people who said this do not know me AT ALL.

the premise was shit.
the writing was shit.
the casting was shit.

and in no way does this story have anything to do with me, since the real theme of the story was

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

and the inability to love again for fear of being hurt.

this story is about a shallow spoiled girl looking for herself in mystical places. (i’ve heard since the book came out there’s been a major surge in travel to these places) in the film, julia roberts is in perfect makeup, hair & lip collagen throughout the entire year-long travel through italy, bali, & dirty disgusting kolkatta. all i could picture was her using the standard indian potty. did she use the left hand? bucket bath? i wondered…

she had no mozzie net at all in bali. in the words of the colonel (who re-titled the film “eat,shit,die”)-

“if she stayed in an open hut in Bali with the front door wide open, the mosquitoes would have carried her away to a rice paddy and chewed her down to the bone.”

THAT would have made this a great film.

the film made a point in showing us that italy is for getting drunk & pigging out, india is for finding ourselves, & in bali, everyone has a love affair!!! a well-shaven muscle boy even drops his trousers for julia enticing her to take a dip in the water. a giant bare muscle ass is all we are left to look at.

and we don’t want to.

julia was forcing herself through the meditation/silent retreat. they even made fun of the silent part of the course, using a ditzy hippie character who wears a pin that states “i’m in silence.” she spends an entire scene vomiting words & idiocy after she lasts 2 months & finally breaks her silence. i’ve done this for the 10 days before. trust me. the very LAST thing you want to do when you finally break the silence is talk. it’s simply too much. anyhoo…india is a stupid place to meditate. it’s louder than shit! they love setting off firecrackers, playing gongs, riding motorcycles, bikes, a billion people for god’s sake! i never go to india without a months supply of earplugs. SO i have no idea why anyone who does NOT want to meditate would ever even go to india to do so. meditation is for people who actually want it. you can keep your 4 grand & take a free vipassana course near home.

this is far from the kind of person that i am. i know nothing of divorce. never been. i do not come from a divorced family. i was adopted which is a whole nuther ball of wax. i have not worn makeup since age 22. i am very low maitenence, having no issues going without hot water, water pressure or even lack of showers. i’ve pissed & defecated in many roads on my travels throughout india. india is dirty disgusting hardcore & NOT for the faint of heart or someone who needs a blow dryer & makeup team. you WILL constantly have a layer or several of dust & dirt if you spend a couple hours moving about from place to place. maybe she never left the confines of her retreat.

sound familiar?

plus she divorces billy crudup, runs away from james franco & refuses javier bardim’s love. 3 of the most beautiful men in film.

how in the hell am i supposed to believe that?????

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